Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged, understood.

Many thanks to artist Stephanie Sicore for allowing us to feature her little bird in our banner.

Powered by Squarespace
« september 2008: gal of growing inside | Main | july 2008: carol of happy sad mama »

august 2008: gwendomama

In her post Before, and after Gwendomama writes of a brain vacation--one of those rare, gifted moments of visitation and vivid, all-senses memory--and the abruptness of the brain returning to duty. By sharing with us her Elijah she gives us a dose of our own, and we thank her for it, and we understand.

For a moment, he was never gone, there was no 'before'. There was no 'after'. There was only Elijah. He was just here. In my arms. He was mine; he always had been. All of his cedary sweet milky vanilla gorgeous cheeky delicious chunky ethereal baby awesomeness was mine.

For a moment I was allowed the thrill of him, the thrill of being his mother. The incredible 'I'm not worthy' feeling as I gazed at this beautiful creature and breathed him in. The pride. For a moment I felt joy when I looked down at my son. For a moment I felt the love gushing out of me, the dam had broken, it all rushed straight into my son while I watched it pour all over him. I could not stop it; it all was his and there he was, in my arms, absorbing every single drop.

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.