winter 2008-09: i lost a world
In Auld acquaintance, Erica of I Lost a World poses a question that's kept many babylost parents up at night: What of the forgetfulness that you don’t want, that you don’t seek?
As time passes, a natural sort of blur settles itself on memory. As Erica writes so evocatively, memory ebbs and flows as much as grief, and none of it changes how the essence of our child(ren) remains.
...I don’t want to lose any more of him. Not one memory, story or image, not one pain or tear or scrap of longing. But it’s becoming very clear to me lately that I can’t forget him, won’t ever forget him, that he will be a part of every meaningful moment in my life. Just now this knowledge is a huge relief. I don’t have to panic if I forget to light his candle some Friday evening, or if I don’t look at his photographs for a few days in a row. His memory and his loss are still with me, will always be with me, are grafted onto my being like the branches of some strange fruit tree. I don’t exist without them.
glow in the woods
Reader Comments (1)