Three months ago yesterday I said hello and goodbye to my daughter, Lea. I only had 27 weeks to mother her and it wasn't enough. It was a day full of tears yesterday.
Now, I am 7 weeks pregnant hoping and praying I bring this baby home.
It is so hard and confusing to be mourning my daughter while pregnant with new life.
Everyday is a worry about my pregnancy and when/if we should tell people.

So sorry for your loss of Lea. And congratulations on your baby on the way. I have no words of wisdom for you. My daughter died in 2010, and I am 4 weeks pregnant with my fingers crossed. I have not shared my news yet, and am not sure when to do so. All I can do is be with you in spirit. Blessings

Alicia, I'm right here with you (I think only a few days behind you, actually). Yes, it is hard to mourn our girls while putting our hope into these new beings. It all seems so fragile, like it could blow away on the slightest breeze. I vacillate between hope and terror more times in a day than I can count. We've told two people. Not sure when we'll tell others. It may just be a case-by-case thing for us this time instead of a big announcement. I'll be here with you taking one day at a time, even the hard ones.

Sweet Alicia.

When I think about you and your Lea I am overwhelmed by the love you have for her. It's a beautiful and powerful thing. She was and is and will continue to be so powerfully loved.

I think your heart will continue to be big enough to love and grieve the one, and love and hope for the other. Lea is lucky to have you for her mom. And this little one is, too. But in the meantime, it's so hard, isn't it?

I'm praying that you'll have the time that you didn't get to have with Lea to lavish on this baby. It won't be the same time, the time that Lea ought to have had, but it will be it's own time, the time for this little one to love and be loved.

I can't feel the pain you're feeling, exactly, but I can tell you that your words about Lea help me when I'm missing my Jenna. And your hopes and fears with this new little life keep company with the hopes and fears I have for the one I carry.

I hope that you find it gets a little easier a little farther along. That's been the case for me, at least.

Hi Ladies,

Im so sorry to read your blogs but I too lost my baby, in November last year and am also struggling with the emotional rollercoaster of life! Whilst missing my baby sooooo much Im also missing being pregnant and the exciting events of starting our little family. My husband and I have been talking about how we feel towards trying again but I am so scared of experiencing this pain again / having my next pregnacy tarnished with this dark cloud I dont know what to do or how to move forward. How did you?

Helen.
I am so sorry for the terrible pain you are in right now. It was impossible at first to even think of having another baby. Lea was supposed to be my last child. So, this loss struck me hard from every angle. But, after that first month, I knew. I wanted to try again. I wanted to make sure I could get pregnant and figure out the next move after I did that.
I can't say that is ok for everybody, it is so obviously not. When you are ready you should feel a calm and peace about that decision. Together my DH and I made the call on trying again.
Because it is so soon after Lea's loss I am still mourning so much about that pregnancy. Just looking at my maternity clothes makes me slam the closet door and fight back the tears.
I have finally told our close friends and my parents about this pregnancy. They are all thrilled and hopeful with us.
I appreciate all the support from GLOW alot. Helen, I would suggest this site for any moments you feel you need to jot down. I wish I had a local GLOW support group.
Melissa, thank you. thank you. stilling thinking of you and your little one. Blessings ladies.

hi to alicia and all that have commented...
i have no words of wisdom but wanted to send a hug of empathy... i am in a similar situation, still grieving my daughter lost almost 6mo ago and currently almost 3mo along with my new baby that i pray with evey fiber is born healthy and alive. as with you, she was the last i planned to have. so now i deal with the added struggle of having a child i never expected to have b/c their sister was supposed to live. there is no world in which i would have them both no matter how much i love them both, and that sucks. i wish you a healthy pregnancy with a screaming little one at the end.