My dream mother's day

Theodore, Mommy’s first Mother’s Day is coming up soon. In my dreams, this is how the day would go.

We wake up to sunshine and the beautiful sound of you crying.

As I get you ready for the day — feed you, change you and put you in a cute I Love Mommy onesie — Daddy is downstairs cooking. When we get downstairs, he takes you from me so I can sit down to enjoy a cup of coffee and a big pancake breakfast.

In the early afternoon, you and I take a nap together. It’s Mother’s Day, and I don’t want to spend a second not with you. Later in the afternoon, Grandma and Grandpa come over to celebrate their youngest daughter’s first Mother’s Day. I give you to Grandma and she hogs you the rest of the afternoon, spoiling you with kisses and hugs.

At the end of the night, I rock you to sleep while singing your song:

I love you in the morning
And in the afternoon
I love you in the evening
Underneath the moon
Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Skinnamarinky doo,
I — love — you!

Once you are completely asleep, I place you in your crib, kiss you on the forehead and whisper “Thank you for the Best Mother’s Day Ever!”

You may not be here physically to celebrate with me, but I promise to carry your heart in mine forever and ever. You have shown me how powerful a mother’s love truly is and that is a gift I will cherish for a lifetime.

Love,
Mommy

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Albert and Mallory welcomed their first child, Theodore Edward, on January 28, 2020. At 6 days old Theodore was diagnosed with an infection from which he did not recover. He passed away in Mallory’s arms on February 8th, after ten days with their perfect baby boy. Mallory has a strong desire to connect with other loss moms who want nothing more than to remember the child they love.

How do you get through mother’s day? What feels like your song?