What I used to be

holding the year under my arm like a package, unabashed
hail a ride to the after-life

spiritbaby mama

even the sundance kid
would find it hard
to shoot his way out
of this hole I’m in

I thank the supreme being
for giving me my eyes and the days that I
have for living
and now I’m laughing
cause I can’t find
tears to cry

I did it
pockmarked and steely
more wily than the sundance kid
I’ve chosen my own adventure ending
(minus the andean town)
shot my way out

productive aggression
scraping, climbing, hungry
unapologetic entitlement

the soundtrack of becoming a reasonable facsimile again

We all have those songs, lyrics, melodies that help us to summon our babies. Let’s never mind those for now. What music reminds you to summon yourself—out of hiding, back into light? Tell us about it, and why: beat, memories, lyrics. If you write about it, share the link. Let's pass our past and future selves around.


Author, photographer, founder of Glow. Mother of three boys, one of whom died at six weeks old nine years ago. Nine years ago, I was someone else. Love and sorcery and poetry and terrible luck and wonderful luck.