Jess at After Iris submitted a guest post not long ago, and her voice and words resonated with so many. She has a way of capturing a feeling perfectly in the fewest possible words. A gift we all wish we had. She combines cheekiness and deep insight harmoniously to give new wisdom into our own grief. In May 2008, Jess' second daughter Iris died while she was in early labour. Though she writes infrequently on her blog, Jess is Glow in the Woods' newest regular contributor and fire-spitting medusa. We are so honored. - Angie
I’m a noisy beastie.
Ra-tat-tat-tat-ing. Clattering around. Today I stood up and made a racket:
LISTEN TO ME WORLD! LISTEN TO ME OCCUPANTS OF MY OFFICE! I HAVE FEELINGS I MUST SHARE WITH YOU! I AM UNHAPPY ABOUT THE DELAY WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING IN OUR RECRUITMENT PROCESS! WE NEED MORE STAFF! IMMEDIATELY! I AM EXTREMELY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS! AS EVIDENCED BY THE SHOUTING! DO NOT SHUSH ME! DO! NOT! SHUSH! ME!
Noisy beastie with her noisy-loud-fist-on-the-table feelings.
I live out loud.
But I grieve in a whisper.
Or even quieter than that.
I grieve in the tap-tap of fingers on a keyboard. I grieve in the silent shudder-shake of waking with an aching face. I grieve in the hush of a turned cheek: turn away, turn away. They don’t know. They don’t know. I grieve by the light of a screen, a muted scream.
But in the quiet, my grief finds a voice. My grief can have a voice here, in this place.
If my tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Yes, in these Woods.
This is my first post for Glow as a regular contributor, and I want to hear your voices. Do you speak your grief in a shout or a whisper? Have you written a post you wish everyone could read about your baby or babies? If you don’t write a blog, what’s the one thing you wish you could mutter in the world’s ear? I'm listening.