Decaf
/it's just a broken keurig —
it brewed so many cursed cups of decaf
while i was waiting for her
and then so many reluctant cups of the strong stuff
while i was retraining my body to breathe.
i breathe into the sound of baby birds
calling for their mother
and i am reminded that you never will
but for the first time in many months
i can relax into the smiling sun
and my lips pulse warmly
from the kissing of your grave
The recent outbreak of the novel coronavirus has been surreal and rattling, even to the most battle-hardened psyche. There's nothing like an invisible enemy to strip away any remaining shreds of your sense of security and ease. Wresting the words from an already trauma-addled brain to explain this in any coherent format is more than most of us can likely bear at this point in time.
And so, instead, I offer you a haiku:
Never fear, they said.
You and your baby? Low risk.
Definitely low.
you call it grief
you think it’s madness
when i throw matches into the wind
and expect them to catch fire
but i assure you it is not
Read MoreBereaved parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion, and the other side of getting through this mess called grief.
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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.
Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.
: for one and all
: ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss
: not ttc | infertility after loss
: parenting after loss
: on the bookshelf
: how to stop lactation when there is no baby
: how to help a friend through babyloss
: how to plan a baby's funeral
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