she died not so long ago

my body knows

it quivers into december,
as warm wreaths brighten up lampposts 
set against skies rich with winter coming

as oak trees hide their naked branches
and muskrats burrow holes high on the river bank

my body always knows

nothing is more predictable than time,
but calendars do not share any secrets with grief 

i stare down the aisles of big box stores, bewildered,
and i wonder,
what birthday presents would i have bought for her this year?

 

How does your body remember?